Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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