Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage

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(217): View more from Illinois

I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?

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(804): View more from Virginia

he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.

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(434): View more from Virginia

It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

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(315): View more from New York

I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

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(773): View more from Illinois

in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.

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(718): View more from New York

Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.

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(810): View more from Michigan

You stocked up?

(248): View more from Michigan

No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice

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