I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
