i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
