What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
