He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
