She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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