Swine flu. Run for my life!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
