His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
