Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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