so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
