Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
