Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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