What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
