I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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