That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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