just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
