some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Randomize
