Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I didn't notice because vodka
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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