he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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