threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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