As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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