She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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