that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
only you would photoshop your dick
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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