Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I party with great urgency now.
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