It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do vagina's smell?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
