i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
