He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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