I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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