Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
