literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
