Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
