so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
