you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Come on in and take your pants off
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
