Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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