maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
