Where did you get a picture of my penis
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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