Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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