i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
