Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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