Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
