she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
