your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
