she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
