she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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