i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
