I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
there's paper in my vomit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
