i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i think i have two assholes
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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