She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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