we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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