pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
