never play flip cup with pint glasses
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
