if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
