my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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